Making friends as an adult: tackling loneliness and protecting mental health this Mental Health Awareness Week

Making friends as an adult can be surprisingly difficult and when day-to-day life gets busy, that lack of connection can turn into loneliness that quietly affects our mental health, according to family support workers in Hertfordshire.

To mark Mental Health Awareness Week (11–17 May), Family Action is encouraging adults to take small, practical actions that make it easier to build friendships and feel less alone, from saying hello at the school gate, to trying a local drop-in for the first time, to reaching out for support early.

Family Action’s Hertfordshire Early Help service, based in Hemel Hempstead and Cheshunt, supports families across the county through services including community drop-ins, outreach work and FOOD Clubs. The team regularly hears from parents who say loneliness has crept in after having children, moving to a new area, or going through difficult life changes, at a time when protecting your mental health can already feel like a daily challenge.

Tom Downey, Community and Engagement Manager at Family Action’s Hertfordshire Early Help service, said: “We hear from so many parents who feel lonely, but also feel they shouldn’t be. There’s a real sense of, ‘Everyone else seems to be coping, why am I finding this so hard?’

“Loneliness doesn’t always look dramatic. It can be not having anyone to message during the day, not feeling confident walking into a group on your own, or feeling disconnected even when you’re surrounded by people. Over time, that can really add to stress and affect your wellbeing.”

He added that loneliness in adulthood is rarely talked about openly, especially once people become parents.

“Making friends as an adult can feel much harder than people expect, especially for parents and carers who may have less time, confidence or support around them. Our doorstep early help support is often about gently reconnecting people, creating safe, welcoming spaces where adults can talk, meet others and feel that they’re not on their own with what they’re experiencing.”

Family Action’s Hertfordshire team supports families to take small, manageable steps towards connection, whether that’s attending a local drop‑in, getting to know others at a FOOD Club, or simply having regular contact with a trusted support worker.

“There’s no quick fix, and no pressure,” Tom said. “Sometimes it starts with just being welcomed somewhere and knowing you’ll be recognised next time. That sense of belonging can make a huge difference to stress levels over time.”

As part of Mental Health Awareness Week, the team is encouraging adults who feel lonely, overwhelmed or under pressure to seek support early, and to remember that loneliness is far more common than many people realise.

More information and practical advice is available here: How to make new friends as an adult - Family Action