"Father's Day is bittersweet" - says young local bereaved woman

20-year-old Daisy, a Winston’s Wish Youth Ambassador, comments, “Spending Father’s Day without your father is a bittersweet day. If you are lucky enough to be spending Father’s Day with your dad, step back and put yourself in the shoes of people who may not be able to do so. Tell him you love him, as many of us wish we could do so one last time.”

Daisy’s dad died by suicide when she was 12 years old. She comments, “The trauma of the night he died never goes away – the ambulances, the police cars, the confusion. I wish I could hug twelve-year-old Daisy and tell her that everything is going to be okay.”

Now, eight years later, Daisy reflects on what it’s like to navigate Father’s Day when you’re grieving your dad. She comments, “If you are grieving this Father’s Day, it may feel like you are the unluckiest person in the world to have lost your dad and that you are the only person who is grieving your father.

“Just remember, even though it may feel like it, you are not alone. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first, tenth or twentieth Father’s Day without your dad, your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to mourn what you lost, but also what could have been.

“Spending Father’s Day without your father is a bittersweet day. I feel jealous of other people being able to spend the day with their fathers, and seeing this often feels like a punch in the stomach any day of the year, but especially on Father’s Day. I wish that they feel grateful that they can spend the day with their fathers and know how lucky they are.

“The first Father’s Day without my dad was two days after he died. At that time, I was in a state of shock, not knowing how to process it. If I’m being honest, it’s not a day I remember very clearly. We looked at the presents we should have given him and tried to make sense of what had just happened to us.

“Now, nearly 8 years on, Father’s Day is still a tough time of year as it always falls around the anniversary. The anniversary reminds me of what I lost, but also how far I’ve come. Father’s Day is now a day where I often feel jealous, but it has also become a day of appreciation for all the years I was lucky to spend with my dad. Instead of feeling sad when seeing cards in shops, I look through them and wonder which card I would have chosen and wonder how we would have spent the day together.”

Established in 1992, Winston’s Wish supports grieving young people throughout the UK up to the age of 25 when their worlds are turned upside down by grief, as well as the adults around them. Each year, the charity supports and directly impacts the lives of more than 80,000 bereaved young people.

The charity knows how devastating a death can be on a young person, and special days such as Father’s Day can be particularly poignant to navigate. Winston’s Wish offers support and advice on their website and via helpline services to young people coping with bereavement.

This June, the charity will launch a special campaign to help people leave a virtual flower in a memory meadow to remember their loved one and help to provide support for bereaved young people throughout the UK.

Daisy shares what she does on Father’s Day. She says, “On Father’s Day, I travel back home as I feel closest to my dad here. I spend the day with my mum and brother, looking at pictures and remembering him. We might share memories - from family holidays to arguments over maths homework. It is a day of reflecting on how far we’ve come and how strong we are now.

“Maybe get a card and write to him, telling him about everything he has missed. But, most importantly, appreciate your dad and everything he did for you, look through photographs, share memories, laugh and cry. Do whatever you feel, but don’t forget that you are never alone.

“This Father’s Day, I will remember my dad and feel grateful for all the other father figures in my life that have helped me and my brother over the years.”

If you know somebody under 25 who is grieving the death of the father figure in their life or another significant individual, please visit the Winston’s Wish website for advice or activities you can do to help a young person navigate their bereavement.