Shock survey findings: Men are just pigs

Recent studies have shown that only four per cent of men would be willing to give up their seat for a pregnant lady or elderly person.

46 per cent of men admit to spitting in public, only four in every 10 would hold doors open for women on a regular basis, and just four in every 10 could claim they don’t swear in public.

The survey was commissioned by socked.co.uk, an online black sock subscription service which claims to take the headache out of mismatched and missing socks.

Managing director Mark Hall said: “It’s shameful that we have let our standards slip. Visitors from overseas associate Great Britain as a place filled with discerning gents with impeccable manners, but unfortunately nothing could be further from the truth.

“We need to reeducate the men of Great Britain in how to act like gentlemen, and restore our reputation.”

Socked.co.uk’s five basic tips on how to be a gentleman

1. Look after your appearance

A gentleman would never wear odd socks; you should always take pride in your appearance when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.

2. To curse is to be rude

Swearing, as your mother will tell, you is a “no” in all circumstances. By cursing you are merely showing that you have a distinct lack of vocabulary and an inability to express your thoughts appropriately. Furthermore , others will only remember you for your crudeness and vulgarity.

3. Let others speak

Always be courteous and let others finish what they are saying before adding your comments. To break this rule is a sign of poor social skills and a distinct lack of etiquette to both the person talking and to those that are listening. If, however, you want to be seen as rude and egotistical you may do so by interrupting others.

4. Do not spit

This should go without saying. However, our study shows that 46% of men do this subconsciously. Spitting is horrid habit and to witness it only leads to instant disgust. Do not spit in public under any circumstances unless you want to look like you were raised in a sewer.

5. There is no need to shout

When a person speaks loudly or shouts, it does nothing but to raise the stress levels among your current company and of those who are in close vicinity. It implies that you are rude, show no consideration to others around you and that you cannot reason with others, so you rely instead on brute force in order to get your point across. This will only draw negative attention towards you.