Alan Dee’s movie preview: Pain And Gain or gore galore are your options if you want to dodge One Direction

One thing’s for sure in the never-ending merry-go-round that is Tinseltown – phone Mark Wahlberg’s people about a part and the answer is likely to be yes. Phone Dwayne Johnson’s people about a part that involves him stripping down to his vest, you’re also likely to get a response in the affirmative.
Pain And GainPain And Gain
Pain And Gain

Cue the double whammy that is Pain And Gain, which connoisseurs of sensitive, character-driven narrative film-making will note is directed by Michael ‘Boneheaded Big Bangs’ Bay.

The well-defined duo who merit above the title billing are pumped-up kidnappers in what is being marketed as a tongue-in-cheek comedy.

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Bodybuilder Mark works in a Miami gym and enlists recently-released crim Dwayne to help him in his ramshackle plan to kidnap a wealthy client and muscle him out of a substantial stash of cash.

Pain And GainPain And Gain
Pain And Gain

The plan goes horribly wrong, and Ed Harris comes into the frame as the hard-faced detective on their trail.

Apparently it’s based on a true story, and it’s a world away from the special effects blockbusters with which Bay made his name and his money.

The leads seem to be having fun as a pair of meatheaded dreamers, but the man calling the shots will have to offer more than this if he wants us to forgive and forget Transformers and Bad Boys – although, to be fair, you can catch Armageddon on telly pretty much every week of the year and it still stands up as a classic of its kind.

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So, let’s talk about how Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, and Louis Tomlinson have changed your life. No? How about Harry Styles, then?

Harry is the best-known name in all-conquering boy band One Direction who tick the latest box in their career plan with a big screen movie release made firmly with fans in mind.

This cute quintet may only have finished third in The X Factor but under the gentle guidance of Simon Cowell they have stormed to world domination without anyone who isn’t a teenage girl really noticing or caring.

The surprise name is behind the camera, Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock getting the nod to produce One Direction: This Is Us, a formula flick featuring interviews, performance footage and music, including – surprise, surprise – their new single. Don’t all rush at once.

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Interviews with all five band members at the film’s premiere are featured in the video report linked to this preview.

What’s next? You’re Next... It’s an 18-certificate home invasion slasher starring nobody you’ve really heard of, which gives you some idea of how the body count is going to rise. A wedding anniversary bash isn’t going all that swimmingly before the crazed crossbow-wielding masked gang arrives on the scene – for shock and gore fans only.

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