Cinema cancels baby screenings due to ‘whingeing, bitching, snitching and the law’

Rex cinema
Rex cinema

Babies have been poo-pooed by an independent cinema, which has cancelled a regular parents’ event after a series of anti-social incidents.

The Rex Cinema in Berkhamsted has cancelled the baby matinee which used to take place on Tuesdays.

A combination of ‘whingeing, bitching, snitching and the law’ has led to the cinema making the decision, according to a post on its website by manager James Hannaway.

In the tongue-in-cheek post, Mr Hannaway says: “Some without babies would rarely miss the chance to complain, even though Tuesday matinees declare ‘might contain babies’.”

He added: “Rex staff have enjoyed collecting still-warm nappies from under tables, and who put up with difficult first time mothers with armoured tanks (prams) and a not always helpful attitude as they spread everything from the tank everywhere.”

And Mr Hannaway also claimed that the cinema has been forced to reconsider over the ratings on the Tuesday films.

He said: “Those who threatened us with the authorities if little-faces turn up in prams for a 15 certificate. Clearly babies of 0 to six months are under 15.

“Thank you for such moral vigilance. There’s only so much whingeing, bitching and snitching from all sides one can take. Eight years of it is enough.”

From 2005 babies were allowed to attend matinee screenings at the historic cinema, but in 2007, after complaints they were restricted to the special Tuesday slot.

The cinema said that the matinees were a chance for ‘young mums and dads to enjoy their first six months of bewilderment with a popular grown-up film at The Rex’.

Mr Hannaway added: “Sorry babies and parents, your time is up.

“However, Saturday kids matinees are always under certificate 15. So providing you can resist all of the above, take your warm nappies etc home, and leave the tanks outside, you are welcome.”