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IT started with a phone call the other week, from my 'just left home' daughter.
'Mum,' she said tentatively, 'would you mind if I spent Christmas in Wales this year?'
My heart did a little flutter - all right, a mega shake - as it plummeted straight down towards my nether regions.
My lovely daughter has a very nice boyfriend whose one disadvantage is that he's from Wales.
Nothing wrong with the Welsh, you understand (indeed, I'm a quarter that way, myself) but it's not just round the corner, is it? And now, after twenty two Christmases with me, she's going to be opening her Christmas stocking without me.
'But she's grown up,' pointed out a friend whose children are still young enough to wait up for Santa (mine sleep in until lunchtime in an alcoholic haze from the night before and have to be prodded awake for their turkey lunch). 'You can't see her every Christmas now, can you?' Nowadays, with families extending themselves all over the place (my own included), the 'Who will you go to for Christmas?' question has started to be asked by thousands of families all over the country.
When I was a young mum with three children under seven and a half, my then-husband and I used to tear ourselves in quarters trying to visit various members of my family on December 25th so no one felt left out. There were my parents (who didn't speak to each other after an acrimonious divorce some years earlier); my mother in law; and my aged grandmother. And although they were all within five miles, none of them would agree to a joint gathering which meant we became a mobile unit of nappies, baby chairs and screaming toddlers on the most special day of the year.
Nor can you share children like a Christmas cracker without someone getting hurt. 'My ex husband has them every other year,' said a work colleague whose two children are almost teens. 'It's his turn this time and I'm dreading it. Friends have asked me over but it would hurt too much to be part of a family when I haven't got my children.' But Christmas is for children - however old they are.
Which is why I've assured my daughter that of course I understand why she's going to Wales with her boyfriend's lovely big warm family.
But a small (all right, large) part of me can't help feeling sad that another lucky mum is going to have the pleasure of my daughter for Christmas.
So next year, I'm going to ask Wales up to Hertfordshire….
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Weather for Hemel Hempstead
Thursday 09 February 2012
Today
Cloudy
Temperature: -0 C to 2 C
Wind Speed: 6 mph
Wind direction: South west
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: -4 C to 2 C
Wind Speed: 14 mph
Wind direction: South east
