You'd think from the glint in his eyes that I was leaving home instead of absconding from my parental duties for two days. In fact, it was a working weekend, running a writing course in Wales, which was meant to have doubled up as a break for me and
my New Husband. Instead, I had to go alone since in the interim period, we had acquired a puppy who couldn't be left.
Which meant that New Husband was in charge of New Stepson and a rather lively Labrador/springer who's still in the throes of being potty trained.
'It's a great test for him,' commented my grown up daughter wryly. And so it's proved. As I write this from the peaceful tranquillity of my Welsh hotel room, I can hear the chaos down the phone during one of my 'Is everything all right?' phone calls.
What on earth was that noise? It sounded like a stampede of at least eight hoodies but I was wrong. Apparently there were nine and that was at the last count. I actually love it when my son's friends come round because a) it means they're not on the streets and b) I can interrogate them on what my son is really up to.
But here I am (at the furthermost point of west Wales), unable to keep an eye on the pile of trainers which is building up in the hall. Not that I need to worry because New Husband is proving amazingly adept.
Somehow he found duvets for the overnighters, besides handing out bin liners so they could clear up after themselves. But it still didn't stop me from ringing home every three hours, partly because I couldn't help feeling I was missing out.
After merely one day of being away, New Husband had trained the puppy to perform in the garden and not on the dining room floor. He had also persuaded my youngest to do his course work. And he'd tidied the linen cupboard so it looked as though a Benetton shop assistant had popped round.
Frankly, I'm beginning to feel redundant. The irony is that when the children were small, I used to dream of having some time to myself. But now I've got it, I crave the warm, crazy chaos of family life. Only another five hours to go…
