According to yet another report that tells parents what they should and shouldn't be doing, we now find that we ought to be giving our
children porridge for breakfast, whatever the season,
because it fires their brains and bodies.
Porridge? The very thought of it personally makes me want to retch. But that's not the point. What I'm worried about is the fact that the people behind these surveys either don't have a clue about bringing up kids or else they have produced the varie
ty that a) come down for breakfast when they are asked and b) eat up when they are told.
In my experience - and as my kids will tell you to a man, I'm not the greatest of cooks, having done Latin instead of domestic science at school - porridge is a so and so to make. It's prone to developing all kinds of lumps and bumps in the wrong places and besides, it takes time.
Now time is not an ingredient that's overflowing in my larder. In fact, by the time I've coaxed my one remaining occupant out of bed (a mean feat that requires all kinds of stealth ranging from cups of tea to a wet sponge applied liberally to the face as a wake-up technique), there aren't that many minutes left in the morning to make a proper breakfast.
Of course, I try. Providing I get up on time (6.30am) to walk the dog, shower and get ready for work, I usually have a second or two to sling a couple of rashers in the top right of the Aga. 'I'm not eating that!' said my youngest in disgust when I plonked a couple of black bits in front of him the other day. Well if he'd come down on time, they wouldn't be cremated, would they? All too often, time is so tight that breakfast is consumed en route to school as the torrid interior of my car will tell you. (That reminds me - I must get an air freshener.)
I know - breakfast is an essential start to the day. But all I can say is that my lot were brought up on a different stopwatch. 'I'm not hungry yet,' moans my almost grown up daughter. But it's almost 11am and not that far off lunch which of course she won't want to eat because she's just had breakfast. And because some of us have had our All Bran at the correct time, that means we won't be sitting down as a family (or what's left of it) because half of them will still be munching some ghastly sugary cereal in front of the box. Sometimes, you can't win, can you? Perhaps they should do a survey on it...
